The Natural Law of 5 to 1 

Turn that frown upside down!

Do you know how many negative emotions you have in each encounter with every person you come in contact with? I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t keep track of this.  Probably 95% of the time I forget to examine the ratio of positive to negative emotions in my encounters with other people.  Oops, sorry. That seems like a lot of math for this girl.

 The emotional health of your daily encounters with others MATTERS, though.

In every encounter, we have an opportunity to strengthen our relationships.  The emotions we elicit from those people we interact with either strengthens or weakens that relationship.  The more times you leave others with positive emotions, the more likely that relationship will survive.  You don’t need to worry about specific calculations, just think about your overall experience. To find this “data”, I ask myself this question:

In my encounters with [INSERT NAME], am I exhibiting an overall positive  or negative emotion ?   

The Natural Law of 5 to 1 highlights the importance of positive encounters even more intensely.  It states that positive emotions must outweight negative emotions 5 to 1 in an encounter to maintain the relationship with that person. It doesn’t just need to be a MORE positive than negative experience overall, it needs to be MOSTLY positive. I find myself thinking about this most when customers bring a seemingly negative “concern” to me.  When this happens, I have a few options I can take in order to handle this situation efficiently, help the relationship survive, and get the result I want.  One, I can get defensive and engage a negative concern with negativity…putting two times the negativity into the encounter. Or, I can be understanding, acknowledge the concern, and offer positive solutions…pumping positivity into the encounter equation.

The health of my relationships depend on MY positivity.

If I go the negative route, consider that customer further outside of my reach now.  This works just the same in friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, and more.  If you care about the longevity of a relationship then keep your interactions overwhelmingly positive.  Use the Natural Law of 5 to 1 not just to guide your week but to guide your life. Are you increasing positivity in your encounters with others? The more positivity you pump in, the more likely you’ll have relationships that survive! As always, shoot me an email at to share your stories using the Natural Law of 5 to 1.  For more information on Natural Laws, visit

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