We build up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt, but these walls that we build up in relationships are the same walls we need to break down. Letting someone into our lives can be difficult sometimes. These walls exist because our brain is wired to create them.
If you are trying to motivate someone with their walls up, you must help to tear them down. These walls make it difficult to motivate someone and they would rather push you out to stay safe, than let you in to help them. You need to build trust and rapport for them to let their guards down. The fear of rejection and failure made them build these walls in the first place.
Examine the walls you might have built with someone else. Even if they were not your fault, they are still your responsibility if you really want them to be motivated. The question now is, how can you pull those walls down? Maybe, start by finding out what they value the most and what are their pet peeves.
If this is the case, do not try to manipulate them. Be genuine about your intentions and let them know that you only want what’s best for them – aim for a positive result and a deeper relationship. This way, motivating them will be easy because you have now built a connection. Walls will start falling all around.