WW #584 - The Walls You've Built Up in a Relationship are the Same Walls You Need to Break Down
- Katheryn Hunt
- Nov 5, 2021
- 2 min read
Updated: Nov 6
We all build walls. They’re meant to protect us from pain, rejection, and disappointment. But over time, these same walls that keep hurt out also keep help, love, and motivation from getting in.
In relationships, personal or professional, learning to break down those walls is the key to true connection and growth.
Why We Build Walls
Our brains are wired for protection. When we’ve been hurt, rejected, or failed before, we instinctively build emotional barriers to avoid it happening again. These walls may keep us “safe,” but they also isolate us.
When someone tries to motivate or connect with us while those walls are still up, it’s difficult to let them in. Instead of hearing support, we hear a threat. Instead of feeling encouraged, we feel defensive.
How to Help Someone Lower Their Walls
If you’re trying to motivate or connect with someone who seems guarded, remember: you can’t force their walls down, you can only earn your way in.
Start by building trust and rapport. Find out:
What they value most
What triggers or frustrates them
What fears might be hiding behind their defenses
The goal isn’t manipulation; it’s understanding. Be genuine in your intentions and communicate that you want what’s best for them. Over time, as trust deepens, the walls begin to crumble naturally.
Take Responsibility for the Walls Between You
Even if the wall wasn’t your fault, if it stands between you and someone you care about, it’s your responsibility to help remove it. Relationships thrive when both sides are willing to do the work.
Ask yourself:
Have I contributed to this wall?
What can I do to rebuild trust?
Am I leading with patience, empathy, and consistency?
This Week’s Challenge
Examine your relationships. Are there any walls — built by you or by others — that need to come down? Start with one small act of honesty or kindness. A genuine conversation can begin the process of tearing down even the highest walls.
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