Is Forgiveness an Emotion or a Decision?

Forgiveness is not an emotional decision but an act of will. Forgiveness is something you do, not something you wait to feel. After you make the conscious choice to forgive, your feelings will fall into line with that new thought.

According to Marcus Aurelius, forgiveness can be a gift to yourself or to others. It may be something you receive, but it can also be a quality that describes a relationship where one must be capable of self-forgiveness in order to forgive others. If hope gives you wings, forgiveness will often be what you will need to get off the ground. As an aspect of resilience and a measure of psychological flexibility, forgiveness is best cultivated as an ongoing practice.

We can all be forgiving. Nevertheless, this will not come easy. It requires sustained effort and a significant investment of energy. Bear in mind though, that our capacity for forgiveness is a part of human nature that has evolved in the process of natural selection. Well, according to revolutionary science, it developed in the same way as our tendency toward revenge. Both forgiveness and revenge are social instincts that solved problems for ancestral humans.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness can be defined in so many ways. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Decision-based Forgiveness
It emphasizes willful decision-making and forgiveness that is based on willpower. Forgiveness here is viewed as an act of will, a choice to let go or to hold.

Cognitive Forgiveness
Cognitive forgiveness definition of forgiveness is based on the perspective that sees transgressions as violations of cognitive structures, like beliefs for example

Emotional Forgiveness
When emotional forgiveness is complete, the person will have replaced negative emotions associated with unforgiveness like anger, resentment, and vengefulness with positive emotions like empathy, compassion, sympathy, and altruistic love.

Forgiveness is a process. It is not easy but can be done. Once you acted on forgiving someone you not only give forgiveness but also freed yourself. It is a decision that you have to make because you wanted to and you will stand by your decision. After all, forgiveness is an act, it’s a decision you made not an emotion you feel. Practice forgiveness and you will appreciate life even more.