One of the purposes of walls in buildings is to provide shelter and security. People build walls to protect themselves. When their walls are up, they become emotionally unavailable. They do not talk about their emotions and are often uncomfortable expressing their emotions. Sometimes we do this in our relationships out of fear, doubt, anger, or shame.  But these walls that we built up in a relationship are the same walls we need to break down.

Breaking walls in a relationship requires effort, patience, and effective communication. Here are some ways to break down the walls in your relationships holding you a prisoner.

  • Overcome Fear with Courage

Courageous people do not lack fear. They are scared out of their minds like everyone else. The key is not letting fear guide your actions. Push the fear to the back of your mind. Act. Act despite your fear.

  • Banish Doubt with True Grit

The act of perseverance when all the odds are against you is a mark of true grit. True grit is the ability to keep going no matter what. Just, “Suck it up and keep going.” That is what it means to have true grit. You take the punches and keep moving forward. You keep moving forward because that is how winning is done. Sometimes all your partner wants you to do is try, not to succeed, but to make an effort.

  • Refuse Judgment of Others or Yourself

Once you have accepted your past and your partner’s past, you can refuse judgment of yourself and refuse to judge them. Being overly critical of past mistakes is counterproductive and damaging to an excellent long-term relationship.

  • Good Communication

Good communication breaks down walls in any relationship. It entails asking good questions, maintaining eye contact, and staying focused on what’s being said. Avoid looking at your phone, do not give unwanted advice, and stop judging your partner. 

  • Show Respect

Showing respect means you acknowledge they have feelings and opinions that may differ from you, and that’s okay.  You respect them for who they are rather than wanting them to be like you.

  • Be a good listener

A good listener is an active listener. When your partner is talking to you, look into their eyes, lean forward, and give them your full attention. Being an active listener improves your communication. According to researchers, it can also enhance the happiness in your relationship.

  • Be honest

Being honest enough to say I’m struggling right now is good. Blame-shifting and ranting at your partner is never a good idea. Words damage, and once something is out of your mouth. It’s impossible to take it back. Communicate honestly but kindly

  • Show gratitude

Showing gratitude for your partner builds positivity in your relationship. It makes your partner feel appreciated. You can show your partner gratitude through your words and your actions.

breaking down walls in a relationship is a journey that requires commitment from both parties. You must be intentional about it. Be genuine about your intentions and let them know that you only want what’s best for them. Aim for a positive result and a deeper relationship. In this way, motivating them will be easy because you have now built a connection. Therefore, the walls are now being broken down.

Watch this weekly wisdom for more details.

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